Who Needs Experts When You Have a Vision? (And a Guest List)

Oh, the agony of governance! You wake up one day, look around the old place, and think, “You know what this 230-year-old presidential residence is missing? A 00 million ballroom!” [2, 6] It’s a perfectly normal, relatable thought. But then, you’re immediately beset by the fun police: committees, commissions, and other assorted buzzkills tasked with preserving “dignity” and “aesthetic integrity.” What a drag.

Thankfully, for those with true vision (and a desire to replace the perfectly functional East Wing), there are solutions. It turns out that the secret ingredient to getting things done is not consensus or historical consideration, but… creative staffing!

Step 1: Re-imagine ‘Oversight’

First on the chopping block were two pesky groups of so-called “experts”: the National Capital Planning Commission (NCPC) and the Commission of Fine Arts (CFA). Their whole job, apparently, was to advise on design and make sure things in the capital didn’t look tacky [1, 3, 9]. Can you imagine?

The NCPC, a 12-member body, was clearly not operating at peak efficiency. So, in a stroke of genius, President Trump simply appointed a few new members, including his own aide, who was then made the chair [6, 7]. Problem solved! Suddenly, a Trump-appointed majority was in place [7]. Critics at places like The Daily Beast whined that these new members were lawyers and political consultants instead of the usual architects or urban planners [4]. To which we say: exactly! You don’t want people who are “experts” in “planning.” You want people who are experts in “getting what you want.” It’s a whole different, and far more useful, skill set.

Step 2: When in Doubt, Fire Everyone

The Commission of Fine Arts (CFA), however, required a more… direct approach. In a move of breathtaking efficiency, all six sitting members were fired [2, 3, 5, 8]. Gone. Just like that. A White House official bravely explained this was to appoint commissioners “more aligned with President Trump’s America First Policies” [8]. Because nothing says “America First” like a swift, decisive purge of anyone who might question your interior decorating choices.

Sure, some might call it an unprecedented move to clear the way for pet projects like the ballroom and a “triumphal arch” [5, 7, 9]. But we call it streamlining. Why wait for a review from the National Trust for Historic Preservation when you can just remove the reviewers? [6] It’s a bold management strategy. Even Harry Truman, who famously replaced some CFA members to get his beloved balcony built, looks like an amateur by comparison [9]. He replaced a few; Trump cleared the whole deck. That’s progress!

Step 3: Enjoy Your Unquestioned Architectural Grandeur

And there you have it. With the NCPC now a friendly echo chamber and the CFA wiped clean and ready for loyal appointees, the path to a glorious new ballroom is clear. White House officials have already started routing preliminary plans through the new-and-improved NCPC [7]. The system of checks and balances has been successfully checked and re-balanced in favor of getting things done.

So let’s raise a glass—preferably in a cavernous, newly constructed, and very expensive ballroom—to the future of architectural review in the nation’s capital. It’s looking less like a stuffy committee meeting and more like a one-man show. And frankly, it’s about time.

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Sources (Because We’re Sarcastic, Not Liars)

[1] National Capital Planning Commission – Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Capital_Planning_Commission [2] Trump replaces fine arts panel amid 00M ballroom project – Straight Arrow News: https://san.com/cc/trump-replaces-fine-arts-panel-amid-300m-ballroom-project/ [3] White House fires commission charged with advising the president on design as Trump pushes construction projects | CNN Politics: https://edition.cnn.com/2025/10/28/politics/trump-fine-arts-commission-firings [4] Trump Stacked National Capital Planning Commission With Allies to Rubber Stamp Tacky Ballroom – The Daily Beast: https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-stacked-national-capital-planning-commission-with-allies-to-rubber-stamp-tacky-ballroom/ [5] White House ousts arts commissioners expected to oversee ballroom, arch construction – Yahoo News: https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/white-house-ousts-arts-commissioners-235923400.html [6] White House fires board that reviews presidential construction projects in Washington – NBC New York: https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/national-international/white-house-fires-board-reviews-presidential-construction-projects-washington/6411059/ [7] Trump Fires Entire Commission Expected to Review White House Ballroom Plans – NOTUS: https://www.notus.org/trump-white-house/trump-commission-of-fine-arts-review-white-house-ballroom-arch-washington-dc [8] Trump fires board that oversees D.C. construction projects, as he plans major changes to White House – CBS News: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-fires-board-that-oversees-d-c-construction-projects-as-he-plans-major-changes-to-white-house/ [9] Trump Axes Entire Biden-Appointed Design Commission in Push to Clear Way for Construction Projects – Yahoo News: https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/trump-axes-entire-biden-appointed-110118326.html

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