In a stunning display of bringing fiction to life, the production of the new Superman film, “Man of Tomorrow,” has decided to give the inmates of FCI Atlanta an authentic, immersive experience: the feeling of being even more imprisoned. How thoughtful! The correctional facility is currently doubling as the set for “VanKull Prison,” because why build a set when you can just disrupt a real, functioning prison?
Apparently, the residents of this fine institution are less than thrilled with their new Hollywood neighbors. According to sources, inmates are enjoying extended stays in their personal quarters (cells, for the uninitiated) and have had their shopping privileges at the commissary revoked. It seems the chance to see Nicholas Hoult as Lex Luthor from a distance wasn’t a fair trade for snacks and basic necessities. Shocking, I know. One would think the sheer glamour of a film set would be enough to sustain a person.
But let’s not be too hasty to judge. The ever-magnanimous authorities have assured the public that the inmates are still being provided with “essential services.” This includes the luxurious trifecta of three meals a day, drinkable water, and medical care. So, really, what is there to complain about? It’s not like the commissary is a “vital resource for inmates to purchase necessities and comfort items” or anything. Oh, wait, it is.
It’s truly a beautiful irony. A movie about a hero who saves people is actively making life more difficult for actual people. While Superman is busy fighting for truth and justice on screen, the real-world consequence is a bunch of prisoners getting hangry. The Federal Bureau of Prisons has, of course, remained tight-lipped on the specifics, only mentioning that “modified operations” are for safety, the kind usually reserved for, you know, prison violence, not a superhero movie.
The good news, for the inmates at least, is that this cinematic circus is expected to pack up and leave soon. Then they can return to their normal, less glamorous-by-comparison state of incarceration. Let’s hope they get a commemorative “I Survived the Superman Filming” t-shirt for their troubles. It’s the least they deserve for their involuntary contribution to the arts.
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