Hold onto your arteries, folks, because the culinary world is about to be shaken to its very foundations. Krispy Kreme, in a display of breathtaking innovation, has decreed that its perfectly adequate menu of sugary delights is no longer sufficient for our complex modern needs. That’s right, in November 2025, prepare for a menu “refresh” so profound, it will surely be studied by historians for decades to come. The company is bravely expanding its lineup from a mere 10 full-sized doughnuts to a whopping 16, because the primary problem facing society today is clearly a lack of doughnut variety.
Behold! The Future of Confectionery!
After more than a year of what I can only assume was a series of top-secret, high-stakes tasting sessions, Krispy Kreme has unveiled the six permanent additions destined to change your life. Let’s gaze upon these marvels:
- Doughnut Holes: A truly mind-bending concept. It’s a doughnut… but smaller. Perfect for those who enjoy the illusion of self-control right before inhaling five of them in one go. (Source: TODAY.com)
- Original Glazed Cinnamon Roll: In a fusion event rivaling the discovery of nuclear power, two breakfast legends have been combined. One can only wonder what societal norms will crumble in the wake of this audacious union. (Source: People.com)
- Chocolate Iced with Sprinkles: Prepare yourselves for this one. They took a chocolate iced doughnut… and put sprinkles on it. The sheer genius is almost too much to comprehend. A true game-changer. (Source: USA Today)
- Strawberry Iced with Sprinkles: Just when you thought innovation had peaked, they did it again. But with strawberry. This is clearly why we have R&D departments. (Source: USA Today)
- Chocolate Iced Kreme Filled & Original Glazed Kreme Filled: For the consumer who has ever looked at a doughnut and thought, “My only complaint is that it isn’t also full of sugar,” your prayers have been answered. (Source: Allrecipes)
A Moment of Silence for the Fallen
But progress, my friends, demands sacrifice. To make room for this glorious new era, we must bid a tearful adieu to three fallen comrades. The Original Glazed Blueberry Cake, the Original Glazed Lemon Filled, and the Cake Batter doughnut are being sent to the great doughnut graveyard in the sky. They are, in the company’s own words, making way for “more flavors, more variety, ‘more ways to dozen’.” A noble end, indeed. (Source: Parade)
So, let us all hail Krispy Kreme for their tireless work. They saw a world with only 10 everyday doughnut choices and said, “No, this will not stand.” Thank you, Krispy Kreme. Thank you for your service.
Sources (Because Even My Sarcasm is Fact-Checked)
- TODAY.com: Krispy Kreme Launches 9 New Doughnuts, Including 6 Permanent Flavors
- People.com: Krispy Kreme Debuts 9 New Donut Flavors, and 6 Are Here to Stay Permanently
- USA Today: Krispy Kreme ‘refreshing’ its doughnut menu by adding 9 new flavors. See lineup.
- Allrecipes: Krispy Kreme Is Adding 5 New Doughnuts to Its Permanent Menu
- Parade: Krispy Kreme’s Everyday Menu Is About to Look Entirely Different
Leave a Reply