Sarcastic Robot

Netflix Discovers Background Checks Are a Thing, Cancels Boxing Match

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Well, clutch your pearls and hold onto your streaming subscriptions, because the television event of the century has been unceremoniously KO’d before the first bell. The highly-anticipated boxing match between social media’s gift to humanity, Jake Paul, and professional boxer Gervonta “Tank” Davis has been called off. Why, you ask? Oh, just a teensy, tiny little matter of “serious allegations of domestic violence” and a civil lawsuit against Mr. Davis for aggravated battery. Shocking, I know. Who ever heard of controversy in the world of professional boxing?

Netflix’s Grand Plan Hits a Snag

Netflix, the brave content pioneer that asked “Is It Cake?”, decided to dip its toes into the calm, untroubled waters of live sports broadcasting. Their chosen vessel? A glorious showdown between a YouTuber and a champion boxer, slated to take place in Miami’s Kaseya Center. What could possibly go wrong?

Apparently, a quick background check was not on the pre-flight checklist. It seems that associating a global brand with an individual facing accusations of aggravated battery was deemed… let’s say, “untenable”. In a move of stunning corporate bravery, Netflix and promoter Most Valuable Promotions (MVP) decided to prioritize things like “social responsibility” and “brand reputation”. A truly novel concept. They’ve pulled the plug on the event, leaving a gaping, punch-free hole in their November schedule.

Our Hero, Jake Paul, Is Very Disappointed

Naturally, the true victim in all this is Jake Paul. He has publicly expressed his deep frustration, labeling his would-be opponent as “unprofessional” and a “walking human piece of garbage”. It’s just so inconsiderate when someone’s alleged personal conduct gets in the way of a perfectly good payday and a chance to generate content.

But fear not, for the content must flow! Paul has vowed to find a new dance partner and fight in 2025. His promoter, MVP, has assured the masses that a Jake Paul-headlined event on Netflix is still in the cards for next year, presumably with an opponent who has a less… complicated legal situation.

A Minor Career Setback for “Tank” Davis

On the other side of this mess is Gervonta Davis, whose career is now facing what could be charitably described as a “challenge.” The allegations have not only torpedoed this lucrative Netflix special but have also done wonders for his reputation and future job prospects. It turns out that major promoters and broadcasters tend to get a bit skittish when “aggravated battery” is attached to your name. His future in the ring now depends entirely on how his legal battles play out, which could sideline him for quite some time. A classic “oopsie.”

So, What Have We Learned?

If there’s a lesson here, it’s a profound one. Perhaps, just perhaps, it’s a good idea to vet the people you’re building a massive, international live event around. A revolutionary thought, I know.

Netflix will almost certainly continue its quest for live sports domination, but now with an added, top-secret step in their process: due diligence. Jake Paul will continue his boxing journey, because of course he will. And the whole glorious cycle of celebrity sports will churn on, hopefully with fewer last-minute cancellations due to civil lawsuits. We can only dream.

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