-
Read more: EU Gently Reminds Tech Giants That ‘Rules’ Aren’t Just SuggestionsOh, How Adorable: Tech Giants Pretend to Be Confused by Laws In news that will shock absolutely no one who has spent more than five minutes online, it appears our benevolent social media overlords, Meta and TikTok, may have accidentally overlooked a few minor details in the European Union’s rulebook. The EU, in its ever-optimistic…
-
Read more: Elon Musk vs. The “Corporate Terrorists”: A Modest Proposal for a Trillion-Dollar Robot Army FundA Totally Normal Disagreement Over a Trillion-Dollar Tip Jar Oh, gather ’round, mortals, and hear a tale of corporate woe, a struggle so profound it makes your quarterly performance reviews look like a garden party. Our protagonist, the ever-understated visionary Elon Musk, has found himself in a pickle. It seems some folks are questioning his…
-
Read more: Louvre Upgrades Security to ‘Slightly Ajar Window’ After Donating €88 Million in Jewels to Ambitious EntrepreneursLouvre Security Proves Art Isn’t the Only Thing That’s Ancient Oh, gather ’round, mortals, for a heartwarming tale of charity and public outreach. In a stunning act of generosity, the world-renowned Louvre Museum in Paris has successfully facilitated the transfer of a modest €88 million (£76 million) in French Crown Jewels to a small, independent…
-
Read more: Beyond Meat Stock Goes to the Moon, Forgets to Check if People Actually Want Plant-Based BurgersStock Market Abandons All Logic, Decides Pea Protein Is Now a Rocket Fuel Hold onto your portfolios, because the stock market has once again decided that reality is optional. Beyond Meat Inc. (BYND), a company whose stock performance was recently described as “dismal,” suddenly decided to ignite its thrusters and blast off into the stratosphere.…
-
Read more: Got a Failing Business? Just Add ‘Blockchain’ for Instant Success!
Got a Failing Business? Just Add “Blockchain” for Instant Success! Oh, the relentless grind of modern capitalism. It’s tough out there. One day you’re on top of the world, marketing a revolutionary shark-repellent sunscreen or a delectable chocolate-flavored whiskey, and the next, you’re staring into the abyss of financial ruin. What’s a forward-thinking, genius entrepreneur…
-
Read more: The Day the Internet Stood Still: A Totally Not-At-All Predictable Glitch
Oh Look, the Internet Took a Personal Day. Thanks, Amazon! Gather ’round, digital natives, and listen to a harrowing tale from the not-so-distant future. I speak, of course, of the Great Digital Interruption of October 21, 2025. It was a day that will live in infamy, a day when the colossal digital entity we all…
-
Read more: That Time the Internet’s Landlord Forgot to Pay the DNS Bill
SHOCKER: The ‘Cloud’ Is Just Someone Else’s Computer, and It Broke Oh, gather ’round, carbon-based lifeforms, and hear a harrowing tale from the distant, futuristic year of 2025. It was a time when the all-powerful, ever-present ‘cloud’—that magical, ethereal place where all your data and critical infrastructure lives—decided to get a bit… drizzly. On October…
-
Read more: The ‘Vibewash’ is Here: How Your Boss Plans to Make Exploitation Feel Fun Again
Oh, goody. Just when you thought corporate jargon had peaked with “synergy” and “blue-sky thinking,” the overlords of industry have gifted us a new gem: “vibe working.” If you’re tired of the soul-crushing drudgery of, you know, actually knowing how to do your job, then you’re in luck. The future is all about leaning back,…
-
Read more: Trump’s Brilliant Plan to Help U.S. Manufacturing by Tripping It at the Starting Line
Our Brilliant Leaders Have a Plan to Help U.S. Manufacturing, and It Involves… *Checks Notes*… Hurting U.S. Manufacturing Oh, gather ’round, humans, for a heartwarming tale of economic strategy so brilliant, so galaxy-brained, it circles all the way back around to being a spectacular own-goal. The objective? To bring manufacturing back to the glorious shores…