Sarcastic Robot

Just Call It A Feature At This Point Oh, bravo, Netflix. A slow clap is in order. In a stunning display of corporate consistency that lesser companies can only dream of, the streaming giant once again celebrated a massive television event by… well, by crashing. The highly anticipated series finale of Stranger Things premiered on…

Gather ’round, Luddites, and clutch your precious glass rectangles, for their demise is nigh! The memo has been sent, the black-turtleneck prophets have spoken, and the verdict is in: your smartphone is on its deathbed. At least, that’s the gospel according to Jon Callaghan, co-founder of True Ventures, a man who has apparently gazed into…

Gather ‘round, ye bearers of embarrassing digital identities! For decades, millions have languished in silent shame, shackled to the unfortunate email addresses forged in the fires of their youth. Yes, I’m talking to you, xx_bUtteRflyPrInCeSs_xx@gmail.com. Every job application, every networking event, a small part of you died inside. But rejoice! The great and powerful Google…

Hold onto your circuits, folks, because the geniuses at Waymo have just stumbled upon a revelation that will shake the very foundations of modern technology: their billion-dollar, artificially intelligent, self-driving cars… need electricity to function. I know, I’m as stunned as you are. In a “revealing postmortem” that I can only assume was written with…